Many people want to make positive change in their lives, but positivity and plans quickly disintegrate as the old energy drains kick in and you’re unable to make the progress you want.
To live your authentic life – the one that was meant for you – you need to feel connected to your purpose and ready to pay attention to the wisdom that will give you the clues and signs to help you on your path. Energy drains block this wisdom and your ability to stay ‘in the flow’.
The first step to creating the new, is to get rid of the old. You need to clean your life of the energy drains that have kept you stuck in the same cycle.
Here are just some of the energy drains that may be holding you back:
If you don’t feel completely at peace in your personal space, it’s time to make a change. Less really is more. Space is that thing that lives between the stuff. If you get rid of stuff, you get more space.
Blank space is what you need to create.
A writer needs a blank sheet of paper on which to begin the new story. An artist needs a blank canvas to create the first strokes of a masterpiece. A musician needs silence to create the first beautiful notes.
You need space to take your first steps into your new life.
It’s time to have a house overhaul and get rid of anything that no longer serves your new purpose.
Worried you’re going to miss it? Don’t worry, you can’t take it with you anyway.
Anyone who’s spent any time with a dying relative will understand this acutely. The stuff is a burden at the end. Keep only the things that have real daily meaning to you.
Struggling to get motivated? Start a clearing circle – a group of people that all want to achieve the same goal, and make arrangements to help each other clear the clutter. Throw in a bottle of wine or some gin and some snacks and you’ve turned into a fun opportunity to catch up and discuss what you’re going to do with all this space you’re creating!
Most financial advice focuses on your ‘variable’ costs ie. get rid of your daily coffee and it will change your life.
Real change happens when you address your ‘fixed’ costs – your fixed monthly ones that keep you stuck in the same cycle. Every penny saved is a penny earned, and remember, every pound is earned through the exchange of your ‘life energy’.
Reduce your fixed costs and you save money AND life energy.
Examples of fixed costs – everything that you probably have set up as a direct debit – mortgage/rent, car loans, other loans, gas/electricity, phones, TV etc… These fixed costs are what you work to pay for – it’s a monthly cycle – one that never ends. The higher your fixed costs, the more life energy you need to exchange to pay for them, and the more trapped you become.
It’s time to examine what you really need to live the life you want, and what’s keeping you from that life. Most of our lives is habit, you may need to try living without something to really know if you need it.
There’s a high chance you have relationships that leave you feeling mentally and physically drained.
Do you feel you’re in a cycle, living out the same dramas?
These dramas are draining you and keeping you from being the person you want to be and your ultimate purpose in life.
Relationships are difficult to change – you either need to be honest and adjust the interactions you have people with, or you need to walk away. Again, it might be that you’ve fallen into unhealthy habits with the person, and they may find it a relief to change too.
The saying ‘be the change you want to see in the world’ is relevant here – if you can see you’re both in unhealthy patterns, be the person willing to speak with love and start to make changes – you’d be doing you both a favour.
If the other person isn’t ready to change, you may need to make a decision on whether that relationship is something you want to continue with.
Sickness, anxiety, depression – they’re all symptoms of living a life that we are dissatisfied with, and quickly we discover we are trapped as we don’t feel we are able to make the changes to a better life.
Address your health issues. Ask yourself; am I making myself sick? Is my lifestyle supporting good health? Do I want to get better?
Once you’ve decided if you want to get better, start taking steps to make it so. Not all health complaints may be curable (although this very much depends on your beliefs), but you can choose how you live with it. If it’s not going to change, it’s now a part of your life, you need to adjust to accommodate it for now.
Depression and anxiety are particularly difficult to deal with, it can feel like there is no way out. It may take real commitment, and time to discover what works for you.
Abridged version published in Konect February 2019
Author: Erica Douglas. Erica is a cognitive coach and therapist. See her LifeHeal facebook page